"The craziest question I ever got from a nonprofit executive..."

0:08

Hi everyone. Welcome to The Nonprofit Diaries, where we share the stories that don't make the newsletter.

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I'm your host, Kimberly Bottom, and for this inaugural episode, I am so excited about our very first guest. She is a known force in our industry as the executive director of Nonprofit Hub.

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Nonprofit Hub provides free education and resources for every aspect of nonprofit work. If you've met Megan, you know she's sharp, strategic, friendly, and fierce.

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I love her because she's all those things with a little side of sass. So, that's why I'm so excited she's going to be our first guest this time. Megan, welcome. Thank you so much for being my test subject.

0:46

Oh my gosh, what an honor to be the first one! I mean, it's a privilege.

0:53

Well, I'm glad you think that, because when we were dreaming up this podcast, you were one of the people that I said, "Oh, Megan's got some stories. I know she's got some stuff that she can do."

1:03

So, let me set the stage for your nonprofit diary entry. This was titled "The Craziest Question You Ever Got in a Pitch Meeting." So, let's just set the stage: what was the pitch meeting about?

1:14

Okay, so I was working for an agency at the time, and I was at a trade show doing meetings with some of our current clients and some potential clients.

1:23

Picture it: we're in a hotel suite and we're hosting a bunch of people for our meeting. It was me and two guys from my team, and then five men from this nonprofit organization who were also in the room, who we were pitching for us to be able to handle some of their fundraising and donor services work.

1:46

Gotcha. Okay, so you went in with your colleagues and you're pitching. Give us the lowdown: what went down in that room?

1:54

So—and I don't say this in a braggadocious manner—but I was crushing the game in this pitch. Like,

2:00

I don't doubt it.

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I was prepared. I was ready. For this particular trade show, this was the meeting, right? The whole schedule was built around this pitch that we were really going after, the one that we wanted.

2:14

Like I said, I had two guys from my team with me. If you looked at the org chart, I was senior to both of them by a couple of levels, but again, I'm the only woman in the room, so that's always its own brand of interesting.

2:27

I'm in the middle of this pitch. Halfway through, the head of the nonprofit—who is amongst the five gentlemen there to hear this presentation—the head of the organization stops me and goes, "I'm so sorry, can I just ask you one question before you continue?" I was like, "Absolutely. Yeah, what can I..." super presuming that this was about something I had just said, asking for clarification on something that I had just gone through. Kim, I'm not...

3:01

Okay, so he stops and he says, "I noticed there's not a ring on your finger. My son just got divorced recently, and I was wondering if I could get your number to give to him because, just watching you here, I really feel like the two of you would hit it off."

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You know what? Nothing will derail me faster than... nothing will derail me faster. It was the most ludicrous statement I have ever heard in my life, and I just kind of froze because I didn't know what to do.

3:38

I certainly did not particularly want this recently divorced man's phone number. Like, he's probably got to get himself together before I even want to entertain any of that conversation! So I just kind of froze. I was like, "I... uh..."

3:53

Thankfully, credit where it's due, one of my colleagues jumped in and said, "You know, let me keep the personal things for later and let's just get on with the presentation." Then he very strategically at the end of the meeting ushered me out so that I would not have to engage in this conversation. So, kudos to him. But it was the most wild meeting I have ever been in in my life.

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Literally! I won't share all the thoughts that just went through my head. What went through your head when he asked you that?

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My first thought was surely I didn't hear him correctly, right? I have to be having a stroke or something, like surely this isn't what's really happening right now.

4:38

And then I didn't know what to say because in your mind, right, when I tell you all of these thoughts are just whirlwinding around my brain—because my thought was like, if I say no, is that it? Is the pitch over? I don't want to say yes, but I don't want to lose the business. And how do I say no without offending him?

4:57

Trying to just balance the social dynamics of the moment in that season... I was like, I don't know what my answer is supposed to be so that I can still accomplish my professional goal in this meeting.

5:11

Yeah.

5:12

I don't know how that was supposed to play out. So there were a lot of circular, whirlwind thoughts happening that just kind of froze me in that moment.

5:23

I feel like this is sort of a metaphor for sometimes what it can feel like to be a woman in business, right?

5:29

Yeah.

5:29

Because it's one of those moments where you're like, "I should not have to be in this situation, but now I have to have the tact to navigate it properly to not make the other person—who's being super inappropriate—feel bad." It's such a juxtaposition to be in.

5:45

Yes! And really, again, there's no playbook for how to navigate those situations, right? That's not something you learn in any sort of school.

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So even trying to figure out the social cues of what to say that's appropriate to shut down the situation in such a way that doesn't cost me the goal and the reason that we're in this meeting in the first place...

6:14

Right.

6:14

Yeah. So there were a lot of things to juggle in that moment to try and keep on track.

6:20

Okay. So, today Megan speaking to then Megan—or speaking to anybody, honestly, who finds themselves in a similar situation to this—what would you tell them or like them to know now that you've lived through it?

6:32

Yeah. So I think—and I do think about this regularly, because I think in general, whether you're pitching for an agency, a tech platform pitching a client, or you're a fundraiser pitching a major donor—there are always conversations where, unfortunately, the other person is not going to follow the script that you've built in your head for what you would like them to say next, right?

6:57

I regularly think about this. I think if I would have had it to do over, what I wish I would have said is: "I'm really flattered, but let me get back on task." Right? I wish that I would have had the wherewithal or the presence of mind to say it that way.

7:16

Because I've been in major donor meetings where people tell you some really weird things. It doesn't have to just be about somebody's recently divorced son. There are a ton of moments in my career where people have overshared on the personal.

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So I think that line of, "Man, I'm very flattered," or "I appreciate you sharing that with me, but let's get back to the professional task at hand," is maybe the line that I would cement in my brain from here on out.

7:46

100%. So did that in any way moving forward for these meetings—where you're presenting and you have these unknown people on the other end who could ask literally whatever comes to mind—does this change how you prepare for these types of meetings?

8:02

Honestly, no.

8:04

Okay.

8:05

Because, again, I can write the script in my head of what I want them to say at each interlude, but they don't have a copy of that script. If anything, it has taught me to prepare for the unexpected, right?

8:20

There's a lot that could happen in any meeting, regardless of the type of meeting it is. So I think just being willing to be prepared for the unexpected... I almost at this point walk into meetings assuming that something ridiculous is going to happen, because then I'm not shocked when it does.

8:42

Yeah, that's super fair.

8:44

I think it's easier to just guard myself that way and mentally prepare for something ridiculous to happen.

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And then when it doesn't...

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If it doesn't, then that's a super pleasant surprise! But for the most part, I'm not thrown by it because I do expect something crazy to happen.

9:03

Something crazy. And what either did you say or would you say to the angel who saved you from this and jumped in?

9:11

Seriously, bless him. But here's what I would say—not necessarily to him, but to anyone else who attends meetings with their colleagues, whether their boss is a woman or their colleague is a woman: don't be afraid to be the guy who steps in and says, "Uh-uh, we're not doing this."

9:29

Right. That kind of behavior stops when the man says, "Hey, that's not okay. Let's get back on track," right?

9:38

So I think just being willing to call that out... look, the situation is already awkward, right? Your female colleague knows that it's awkward. She is already feeling 10 times more awkward than you are. So don't make her also do the work to call it out.

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Be willing to step up and be that guy.

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And not that it matters, because what matters is that you were safe coming out of that meeting, but how did it go? Did you end up winning?

10:06

We did get the business.

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Quick one for me!

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Yes, listen: this is maybe the most successful business situation ever because not only did I get the pitch, I did not have to get the phone number of this man's son! So all in all, it was a win.

10:22

That is a banana story. But again, I have a feeling that people out there listening are going to be like, "Oh yeah, I've got one of those."

10:28

Oh, yeah.

10:29

One of those weird situations where you just kind of go, "Is this real life, or am I having a stroke?"

10:36

Yeah, for sure.

10:37

It really just kind of soothes our soul to hear that we are not alone. That is the whole purpose of us being here. Well, thank you so much for sharing your story and for submitting your diary entry today. I appreciate you being here. I will for sure be calling on you as we move forward, because I know you just collect these stories as you go and you have so many experiences in the nonprofit realm. Your wisdom and insight is always appreciated here.

11:04

Absolutely. Happy to be back anytime.

11:06

Yes, I love that. All right, I'm calling you on it. And for all the nonprofit professionals listening out there: remember to hydrate, practice self-care, and if it helps, you can submit your own diary entry by clicking the link below. We would love to have you on the podcast, and we'll see you next time.